oh no now i feel like you guys are going to start asking me questions about everything just to make me ramble and cry and cry while i ramble
but oh well, let’s do this. it turned out kind of long, so i put it under a read more!
(first, please look at this - it’s very relevant.)
so there are two things going on in this scene.
#1: the facial expression
okay, so here’s how derek looks at stiles in that scene.
why does he look like that? for starters, he’s still kind of shaken after being paralyzed and weak…and dependent on a human kid he doesn’t even trust. i mean, derek’s an alpha werewolf. he’s supposed to be strong, stronger than anyone. but it’s like matt said in the most recent episode: one cut to the back of the neck, and he’s helpless. if stiles hadn’t held him above water, he would have died.
so derek is looking at this kid that just almost drowned to save his life. this kid who saw him at his absolute weakest and most vulnerable. guess what derek associates with being at someone’s mercy?
so if i were derek, i would be freaking out internally right about now. what’s this kid gonna do now? what’s he going to say, what’s he going to tell scott, what’s he going to tell allison fucking argent? what’s he going to demand in return for saving my life?
and stiles does nothing.
he doesn’t rub it in derek’s face, he doesn’t say “you owe me.” he’s just like “so you knew [it was a kanima] the whole time?” sounding kind of annoyed, but nothing more.
the other thing going on with derek’s facial expression (vulnerability, surprise, hauntedness, etc.) is what i talked about in the post i linked to above. i’m not going to go into that, though, just read the post.
#2: the monster
here’s what happens right before derek gives him that oh-so-soulful gaze:
scott: “but [the kanima] is like us?”
derek: “a shapeshifter, yes, but it’s - it’s not right, it’s like a…”
stiles: “an abomination.”
that is so important. stiles, the human, just said “it’s not like you, it’s an abomination.” he said “werewolves are not abominations.” he said “you are not a monster.”
other than the ones in his family, how many humans know werewolves are real? not a lot. and how many of those humans do you think are werewolf hunters? almost all of them.
i’m going into major headcanon territory here, but i’m willing to bet that when derek was growing up, he was told to keep his true self secret at all times. because the humans are dangerous - they’ll hunt you down, lock you up, use you for experiments, call you a terrifying monster just because they don’t understand you. humans tell their children stories about the big bad wolf. derek is the monster under the bed. he’s not human, he’s part animal, and to the humans, he is an abomination.
this is a human kid, looking derek right in the goddamn eye and saying, “you’re not.”
and that is freaking amazing.